Forgiveness

For all those who may be reading this post, I apologize for the long break between posts.  It has been a very stressful time.   It has only been two months but in some ways it has felt like an eternity.   I have had a handful of slip ups over these last two months.  I would contribute that more to having less of an opportunity to view pornography than of my own will to change.  Don't get me wrong, I do have a will to change.  I want to change more than anything.  I want this yoke removed from me.  I frequently feel that it is pulling me down and I am unable to progress or fully understand what my full potential is because of it.  This weakness is a great burden and I hope and pray each day that the Lord will take it from me.  

I have made progess.  The last two times I have slipped, I have taken the more difficult road, especially for me, and told my wife the same day that it happened.  She is truly the most understanding and supportive person I know.  How many wives would stick with their husbands through something like this?  I love her more than anything.  It is because of her and the kids that I continue to fight this.  

My most recent slip up was this morning.  I told me wife and asked for her for her forgiveness.  On my way to work, a thought hit me.  I realized the amazing power of forgiveness part of repentance.  I was in a very dark and cloudy mood after I slipped.  I was feeling guilty and feeling sorry for myself.  After asking for forgiveness from my wife, it was almost as if a veil was lifted or a weight was taken off my shoulders.   After thinking about that while driving to work, I realized that don't have to rely upon myself to over come this.  Christ gave us the answer: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)