An Answer to Prayer

Let me share with you a little experience that I had which started last night.  As you know from my last post, I slipped back into my addiction... again.  Well, to get it out of my mind and focus on something else I decided I would watch some LDS shows that were on BYU-TV.  Looking back now, I realized that instead, I should've knelt down and prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength and guidance.   I slipped again later that evening (it doesn't help that I am the only one home).  I was tired and lonesome.  

After I finished looking at pornography that second time I had had it.  I felt so guilty and was so full of self-pity.  I felt hopeless.  I didn't know what else to do and I surely didn't feel like the Lord or my Heavenly Father was helping me.  I knelt down at that time and pleaded with my Heavenly Father.  Looking back, I could even say I was angry.  Angry with God for forsaking me, at least that is what I thought at the time.  Angry at myself for giving in.  I was just sick and tired of having this problem and feeling that I was tredding water and not getting anywhere.  I have been dealing with this problem since I was twelve years old!  I have been actively trying to overcome this problem for the last 8-9 years!  I felt like I was at the end of my rope.  I didn't know where to turn and I didn't know what else to do.  I told Heavenly Father that I needed an answer or some sign the He was there and I needed that answer tomorrow or I was likely to just give up trying.  

After the I went to bed and slept remarkedly well.  I woke up refreshed and thinking back to this morning I was really in a peaceful mood but I didn't think anything of it at the time.  Every Sunday I am in the habit of turning on some church music to get the family and I in the right frame of mind for the day.  Today was no different.   I decided to go to BYU Radio and see what was playing.  Right as I hit play, the song "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" started playing.  As soon as I hit play I started getting ready for church and I immediately stopped.  There wasn't a voice, mostly just a feeling but I knew that this was my answer.  I sat down on the couch and listened.  I was struck with such a powerful feeling of peace and comfort I couldn't do anything but sit there.  When the song finished I was just in awe and I thanked my Heavenly Father for what He had just given me and asked for His forgiveness for the way I acted last night.  

"My Redeemer lives!  Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers!  I am not alone in this!"  Those are the thoughts that went through my mind as I was getting ready for church.  I went to church with a renewed spirit and new that I could do this.   I know this is not the end, I will continue to be tested by the adversary but I now know that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is with me and will help me each and every day.  The scripture comes to me in which the Savior said, "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:30)  I believe that completely.

Here is a video I found that is very powerful.  It is a video of pictures of Savior put to the music of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives"